Commitment

I did what everybody dreams of ...I quit on Monday... I really had no big reason to quit... but little small reasons... but all these are irrelevant...

During my chat with my Boss, where he asked me the reason for quitting... and we had a long discussion (oh how painful it was... It was similar to a break up with a boyfriend... I could almost predict his responses and the next questions) and we parted ways amicably... but the one phrase that stayed back with from the entire 2 hour conversation is that... " You are not Committed".... I wasn't expecting this... I was expecting something like "you are too arrogant" or "you are not a good leader", or "you cannot take criticism" or "you are not professional", etc ... but where on earth did this commitment thingy come from....

I seriously didnt get what he meant?? I still don't... never got it when my ex-BF had accused me of the same crime... I actually don't understand the meaning of the word commitment...people use it in sentences, and while judging someone .... but what does it mean???

Webster Dictionary Says ---
commitment
One entry found.
Main Entry:
com·mit·ment
Pronunciation:
\kə-ˈmit-mənt\
Function:
noun
1 a: an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1): a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2): an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b: mittimus2 a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future ; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled

Since, point (2) a: is not applicable to me... I would like to analyse the rest of the points vis a vis my boss's & exBF's statements....

I. EX BF -- "why can't you commit to me??"

ME -- what do you mean?? I like you, I want to be with you ... is that not enough...what the hell do you mean by commitment... do I need to sign on some dotted line??

Analysis - Lets refer to point 1 a: an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1): a consignment to a penal or mental institution.

Well, committing to my BF as far as I had tried to understand was to be loyal to him physically while I could go and have an orgy with 20 men in my mind...I was free to ogle as long as I did it discreetly, I was free to lust as long as I didnt lunge at the object of lust. It was not ok that I wanted to play it by the ear in the future vis a vis our relationship, coz I didnt know what the future held but was willing to go through it with an open mind, but that was not acceptable to him. What however was acceptable to him was that I promise now and later go back in my words... aka the great Indian politician...

According to the dictionary, we are supposed to act accordingly to the trust bestowed upon us... hmmm, if there is trust then why this whole commitment word... in this shrinking world, doesn't saving even one word or phrase mean anything?? Needless to say I almost paid a visit to a mental institution.

Coming Back to my Boss's statement...

Boss: - You lack committment

Me: - (with my now famous dumb expression, thinking in my head... this commitment business will never leave me) I didnt get it.

Analysis: Did he mean, continuing to see through a change of philosophy at the drop of a hat without any protest. Isnt the word commitment applicable when the same conditions are applicable... for eg - if I had a piece of chocolate that I was asked to preserve and I had to commit my entire life in trying to preserve it and if I couldn't take care of the chocolate even after investing in a refrigerator to keep it at an optimum temperature...bcoz power cuts played havoc, or bcoz there is a shelf life even to the humble chocolate and it became bad because it was meant to me...would that make me not committed....

When asking somebody to be committed, do we ensure that the rest of the physical, emotional, spiritual temperament remains the same??

I think that the word commitment came into use, when wise men started looking for a scapegoat to wash their hands off. Since, things change, situations change and priorities change, even commitments cease, that doesn't lessen anyones integrity. People decompose after death, even the healthy ones, doesnt mean that they did not take care of their health... all good things come to an end and so does commitment.