When Enough is Enough!

Overloaded bag, that last piece of curly fries, that ample swig of rum, the over adequate sounds of pity, the myriad questions, the copious amounts of tobacco, the abundance of nonsense...when is it ever enough?

How do you know its enough?

How many times will you scream your guts out that its the last time but go back to the same thing again and again, like some unstoppable force was pulling you... like you were on auto mode, a helpless puppet of your own desires, insecurities, fears, the reservations about your self, reaching that pinnacle from where there is no return... longing for a finality that should come, has to come, but somehow always gets delayed, gets ripped in one single corner, tucked far away from consciousness. A part which hardly matters at the moment but exists for all purposes to remind you that, a little sliver of it has seeped back to where it was... where it always will be...a memory of that initial theorem.

The basis of choice, made in haste, frustration, despair but always weaker than that eternal damnation...'Hope'. How does it manage to sneak back in is beyond comprehension but once in, it grows like cancer, becoming bigger and bigger until you scream out again "Enough is Enough" hoping that this time its the last.

Deep down, I know the answer is 'Never' but still the heart hopes. Sigh!

The number 9

Ever realized that we are in Kalyug which is the 9th era of civilization, or that there are 9 celestial bodies in Indian Astrology or that Navratri is festival which lasts for 9 days, or that there are 36 chromosomes in an individual which when divided by 9 yields 4 which in turn is the different stages of one’s life as defined by the Manu Smriti.

Apparently the number 9 is quite the mystery number in Indian mythology but not only so… it has equal claim to fame in Chinese (The Chinese Netherworld supposedly has nine rivers in a nine-headed dragon. Also, ancient Chinese believed that the sky consisted of nine parts, the earth had nine separate countries, and each of those countries had nine mountain ranges), Greek (there were 9 muses, responsible for creation of the arts by way of inspiration. They were the daughters of Zeus, king of the gods), Egyptian (the Ennead was a group of nine gods and goddesses. Before passing onto the afterlife, a person had to be judged as worthy by the Ennead) mythology to name a few.

This mystery number plays an equal amount of significance in mathematics as well… it is the last digit before the start of double-digit numbers. This feature is the reason the number nine has certain unique mathematical properties, such as the digits of every multiple of 9 adding up to 9 or another multiple thereof. For e.g – 2x9 = 18…1+8=9; 3x9=27…2+7=9.

In the Natyashastra, there are 9 bhavas or emotions Love, Mirth, Pity, Anger or Wrath, Heroism, Terror or Fear, Astonishment or Surprise, Tranquility or Peace and Disgust collectively called as the Navras.

Seeing the importance of this heavenly number, I tried my best to fit it into my life….so here goes some possible (read lame) connections
1. When I was 9 years old, something important happened that changed my entire life….maybe …just couldn’t think of any dramatic event…it was too long ago…

2. When I turned 18 (1+8=9), I got my driver’s license and voters ID…as did other 18 year olds…hmmm

3. I have 9 close friends (if I don’t count the rest 11)

4. I worked for an organization called tv 9!!

5. I can prepare chicken in 9 different ways (really I can…lemon chicken, pepper chicken, chicken pot roast with red wine, chicken chilly, garlic chicken, ginger chicken, goan chicken curry, chicken do pyaza and chicken butter masala)

6. I stand tall at 5 feet 9 inches (if my heels are 5 inches)

7. It’s been 9 years since I have stayed on my own.

8. My first big purchase out of my own hard earned money was a watch for dad which cost me Rs. 3,600…the numbers adds up to 9!

9. Ok last try….A chance remark by a friend who was just explaining how I have managed to build walls around me and that it becomes extremely difficult for anyone interested in me to get to know me. He further elucidated that one has to unlock 8 doors to get to the 9th and last door and only then would I really be relaxed and comfortable. Please note, not 5 not 15 not 10 but 9 doors!

Even though I probably need regular psychiatric treatment or possibly the Chinese torture for subjecting a fellow human being to such rambling of the mind….but I think the last or the 9th point does make some sense.

Can I expect 9 comments???