What is Love?

Poets, Writers, filmmakers, the good for nothing guy next door to the hot co-worker in the shortest skirts have been asking this question to themselves, to God and to anybody who gives a damn.
During vella days I have also done my share of pondering over it and spent endless productive hours debating about it with various friends, colleagues, drinking buddies, bosses, family members, strangers, cute guys at random places, irritating people at even random places to no logical conclusion.
Yes it is a controversial topic and it changes from person to person, region to region, culture to culture, situation to situation, young to old, drunk to sober, you get the drift? And I’m sure that what we thought as love when we were toddlers and what we know now, transitioning through phases of kids, teenage, youth, etc the meaning as also evolved and transitioned from a mothers soothing look, to a fathers pat on the shoulder, to teachers smile, to a friends high five, to bosses handshake, etc.
Many a times, in-between these various gestures we somehow end up all confused and lost and forget the basic thing of love, of sharing of affection till suddenly somebody somehow sneaks in that gesture which leaves you wondering if you really know anything about it or if you are still fumbling your way through.
You can’t describe it your friends, you can’t explain it … it’s not creepy, not shy, not confused, not sexual, not un-sexual, not hurried....but very comforting, very friendly, very soothing, very reciprocative… something which gets a smile to your face even when you think about it.
And on World Aid’s Day I guess I have to thank Vaspy for adding that smile. No co-relation though.

Selfish Little

In a country like India were poverty is always on the rise it hurts to see so much of food grain rot in the rains.
You know what... read it in the papers this morning ....makes me wonder why nobody is giving any importance to it... Jessica Lall was murdered and thousands of people who were not affected by her murder directly stayed up all night and lit candles and it felt good to see so many of us mobilizing towards the greater good of the society....but it’s the same janta which is least bothered with all these food grains rotting away....something which affects us directly....will it take a murder of a beautiful lady for us to start a movement again?? Why can’t all of us FB empowered netizens start something a little more worthwhile instead of self indulgent status messages...can we??
But what can we exactly do?? Start another Candle Lit March towards the gateway? Or start a Pink Chaddi campaign?
Well, since I am like the rest of the population who likes armchair theories and couch preaching as well… and don’t have a cause in which I believe in … I can jot down few steps
Option 1:
We all can start a long discussion and hope that it generates enough buzz to come to the notice of sensible and self motivated people who will actually do something about it
Our Fyada: - we will feel good about one little thing and if this movement gains importance we can brag about it to our grandkids someday
Option 2:
We all start a long discussion and urge people to take out some time from their busy and hectic life to start a letter addressed to Ashok Gulati, Director, FCI, who says that "The total storage capacity is 28 million tonnes ... this leads to losses of 10 – 15 per cent. Translate this into value... that is 6 million tonnes of grains damaged, unfit for human consumption ... it amounts to Rs 8,000 to Rs 10,000 crores annually." We mark a copy to the Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh, Minister of Agriculture and Minister of Consumer Affairs, Food & Public Distribution Mr. Sharad Pawar, Minister of Home Affairs Mr. P. Chidambaram. The creative ones amongst us can put together a nice power point presentation and the hard working sincere types can research the facts and figures for it. The enterprising ones can follow up with the above mentioned people to see whether they have read said draft. The ones in media can slyly slip a draft into the editorial meeting and the ad guys can maybe take a dig or so in one their copies.
Our Fyada: Since we are using our core competencies and not leaving our armchairs, we can chat with our friends while doing this. Also, we can splurge on dal and rice and not eat spend agonizing hours wondering what to order for lunch which is healthy, tasty and doesn’t pinch the pockets also… we are after all saving up for that Jimmy Choos and that Tag Heuer. It’s still an inspiring story for the grandkids (kids will listen to anything).
So what will we choose?

Labour Pains!

Ever wondered about the mysteries of life and death and how various cultures deal with it. Some cultures celebrate death and give the departed soul the best party ever. Others are thoughtful enough to pack all the essential items with the corpse for their last journey. For the wondrous moment of new life, people donate their fortune to the less fortunate ones, some light up the newborn’s life with Cigars; others do elaborate rituals to please their Gods.
Such various customs and culture specific rituals must have been duly noticed and noted down by some anthropologist for their research/thesis work which the common junta ignores generally ignores… imagine reading about such useless info when the antics of our cricketers, movie stars and wannabe reality stars are much more juicer…but I digress.
If someone is an avid Bollywood fan and has grown up in the eighties where Bollywood followed the tried and tested formula of revenge, then they might have inkling to the ambiguous meandering of my mind. Sample this…
The father has been killed (or confined) by the bad guys and the wife who somehow escapes from the den of the bad guys and runs away not because she can’t bear the torture (or lecherous stares of the extras) but she has to give birth to the hero of the film so that he can avenge the family and have a happy ending. Regular fare…some even went on to become hits …but that one scene…where the hero is actually born….it’s supposed to be a very dramatic one… and is often depicted as dark… with rain and thunderstorm and the wails of the pregnant mother who thrashes about so much that the art director must have a standby set ready just in case. The ‘mother’ is drenched in sweat and tears roll down her eyes and the scene seems so long that you automatically start praying for the baby to come out so that the movie can go on…
But why do our filmmakers depict childbirth in such morbid and melancholy way… why is the beginning of child birth always associated with the mother wishing that she was a monk?
In comparison, American film and TV (which is so cool…not to be ignored) rarely projects child birth in such dejected and macabre way unless the plot requires it. It will then be an exception, not the norm.
Is it something to do with the healthcare policies of both the nations… one is developed where all its citizens have basic rights to medical facilities and do not view the process of childbirth as that big a deal, while the other is still struggling to provide basic facilities for the expectant mother. Girls grow up dreading the process of childbirth and with convoluted theories of sex … Agreed schools nowadays have sex education, but imagine how many years of viewing the agony of childbirth in popular cinema is etched in a girls mind….can a textbook with 100 marks of test marks erase that imagery from the easily impressionable mind?
For a nation with more than a billion headcount…that’s a lot of labour pain.

The End is Near

Yeah the end…not only is it here…but also near… no no I am not trying my hand at some cheap alliteration. It’s just a fallout of a long conversation with a friend who goes long back and is far away…a long way off the pacific so to speak.
Well, over ISD calls arguing the case of networking and or the need for small talk, we touched the topic whether the end is what matters or is it the journey? Quoting management theories my friend just reinforced the fact that all such theories are actually bullshit pointers filled with jargons and only serve the purpose of confusing the other person. The person at the receiving end, not making head or tail out of it ends up buying the theory often at an exorbitant cost (cash or kind) and falls into the trap of success, chaos and rat race.
But I digress; I am not here to do some MBA bashing (which incidentally is my favorite sport ;)) but to acknowledge the fact that this time it does make some sense.
Yes, in a way the ‘END’ is what everyone or say most people have in mind when they start a venture be it business, social or artistic in nature. But it’s not always the end that makes most people strive towards making the venture a success…sometime success lies in completing the journey, sometime the journey/process is so exciting that the end doesn’t matter.
We are all born with one certain thing… death… we know that it will happen, but does one fling himself off the 31st floor of a high-rise or sleep on railway tracks or send a personal invitation to the likes of Kasab to reach the end. No, we traverse each day learning new things, experiencing various emotions so that when we reach death we can find some other end. The journey towards death is what matters most, more than death itself.
When anything is given life, the end of that life is death…but the blooming of the flower, to the chirp of a bird, to the gush of a waterfall, to the roll of the sea, to the stoic silence of the mountains, to the bounding jump of the hare, to the rat race of the humans, is but only the by-product of that end. And if the flower attracts the pollen carrying bee to pass on the emotions along with the pollen, if the bird chirps forth a tune to the hearts of a lovelorn poet, if the waterfall excites the fish to swim in dangerous water, if the sea calls out to the surfers, if the mountains beckon the hermit…then they do so with the hope that their emotions, their intrinsic nature, their being doesn’t end with their physical death… that someday there will be some flower, some bird, some water fall, some sea, some mountain, some animal, some human somewhere which will not dwell on the impending death but will carry their legacy forward thereby making them mortal… thereby rubbishing the fear of the end.
Because, the end is always near…. but with each end comes a beginning as well.

Ape No More

Darwin has cracked his brains to answer questions about evolution....many have believed in it and equal number of people have rubbished this theory. Many theories, books and movies later, it is still a viable topic of discussion... we all want to know where we come from and where we will go.

But why?? Why is it so important to know about our origins...so that we can right the wrongs or is it just plain curiosity... or is it to live in a delusion of immortality?

According to some civilizations, all matter is made up of energy which vibrates at a certain frequency. Now there is a universal being (I refrain from using the word GOD here) which vibrates at a certain frequency also. This universal being (found across all microspheres and ecosystems) attracts similar frequencies towards itself to gobble it up (some call the process Nirvana). Now it is destiny (fact of life) that each and every matter will wind up being gobbled by this universal being (it’s kind of a food chain in the cosmospiritual sense) and will be reformed as some other matter with some other frequency, since matter can neither be created nor destroyed but changes its form from one to the other.

Our wise old men, didn't want to change...even if they knew that it was the ultimate truth....so they devised all kinds of schemes to keep the human mind occupied...these schemes were mainly the emotions of love, hate, jealousy, pride, etc and their subsequent actions of war, poetry, economics, entertainment. This prevented humans to focus on their vibrations and indeed our vibrations have been so muddled that we ourselves do not know about it.

We have started aping each other in terms of attitude, behavior and style and refuse that there is a certain job that we have to do.

It’s like the story of a toothbrush...with modern technologies, the toothbrush can flip back, come in attractive colours, have a part for cleaning the tongue and even is battery operated...but does it do what its empirical nature tells it to do...albeit brush the teeth? Until and unless a toothbrush doesn't do that, then it is not one.

In our rush to theorize evolution, have we forgotten that the current Darwinian theory of natural selection is keeping us from the bigger picture...maybe evolution means being gobbled into this universal being and reforming into a different matter, not re-engineering our DNA's to keep us immortal.

The Mayas and Incas understood this...and so the whole civilization vanished leaving behind the wonders that is Macchu Picchu...maybe someday I will. But what will I leave behind.....my blog??? ahem....

(Dedicated to Sumit Vaswani for starting this topic)

Happiness is Unhappiness in another form

Last night when a friend asked me to go on a weekend drive, and I refused it wasn’t a great deal to my otherwise unimportant life. I have no regrets going on the drive, it wasn’t a first for me nor will it change my life drastically. What was dramatic was the reason I cited for refusing the proposal. It went something like this “I don’t want to go because the drive will make me feel happy, and I want to feel sad which will propel me to shed my laziness and overcome my shortcomings”
I didn’t believe that these words were actually coming out from my mouth… who talks like this?? More importantly who reasons like this?? Do we actually crave unhappiness over happiness? Because that’s exactly what I was saying…to be happy later on, I need to be unhappy right now… but we all know that later on is always in the distant future…so effectively I was craving unhappiness and deriving some kind of pleasure from it.
We all know that Pathos forms the basic plot of any good story, but I had never imagined me to be at the center of all the wallowing and hedonism. We never say we are happy NOW…we always talk about it either in retrospect or in a futuristic manner.
We all say “I was happy as a Kid” or “Last week when I went to Gaurav’s Bday and met all my friends, it was the happiest day in my life” or “When I turn 35 and still have my good likes, I will be terribly happy with my beautician”.
So, all these marketing jargons that are lobbed on us in the name of advertising actually do not spell happiness, manufacturers are selling unhappiness and we are falling for it hook, line and sinker. Do we actually need that new LCD TV to remind us that our life will now be happier when our pockets are lighter and when we actually don’t need to be happy??
Why can’t there be a product that goes “Want to be really happy, buy our new energy drink that is made out of sewage and will give you thousands of diseases for that everlasting unhappiness”…or some such thing.
This is part of my series “Reflections” and will have many more revelations and insights into the wonderful process called Life.

Only 1493 Tigers left… Save the man!

The ad says Only 1493 Tigers left… save the tiger… but I say there are only 1129 Men left… who is going to save them?
What only 1129 Men…aren’t we a one billion plus country…well yeah…but where are the men?
The dozen that I know don’t constitute a man…. 7 percent are automations….they are programmed to get up and go to work and then party after work. No No, it’s not a new age phenomenon… this robotization of man… you can see it all the way through their lives. They were wired to be automations right from their birth…they went to school, college, professional college, work, marriage, kids, etc like clockwork… it was as if their meter was on since the time they were born.
Many don’t even question the purpose of being in this rat race… they are busy making investment plans for the future, not realizing that the future that they are seeking will always lie …well in the future.
Who will save the man?

Patriotism, Where art Thou??

60 years of the republic….and we get a new version of a music video to show… that was one of the major stories of the nation’s foremost newspaper.
Republic day has always been special for me… as a small town schoolgirl….the day always started with the whole family glued to the television set…watching the parade being telecast live from New Delhi where the president takes the salute.
The ultimate aim for me in those days…to be part of the parade and win bravery awards, from the hands of the President, the highest authority in our country. Many days were spent in scheming how to put my elder sister in life threatening situations so that I could come and save her and win the coveted award. But these were only day dreams fuelled by overzealous empty mind.
Our hometown also had a mini parade on the republic day, where various schools would participate and march past the chief minister (oh the joys of democracy…if not the President, I had the humble CM)…winning the best platoon for the school was a good enough high… nothing made me happier or prouder than carrying the trophy back to the school, flaunting it all along on the way, teasing the rival schools with it.
That competitiveness has not surfaced since those school times again.
When I got a chance to move out from my parent’s home and stayed in Delhi… among my to-do lists was to see the Republic day parade in person at the India gate itself…alas, four years in Delhi and the only trip to India gate was for Ice-cream after late night parties. When I did express a desire to go watch the parade, my new found big city friends, made so much fun of my small town aspirations, that I completely dropped the idea of patriotism leave alone the parade. Besides, where was the time?? I had to earn my daily bread…make a mark in my career, that was how I was going to do my bit for the country, not by watching some silly parade… grow up girl, I said to myself and glugged down another drink to celebrate the republic day with my colleagues.
Half a decade later, in another new city, exploring my own independence, I came to the conclusion, that it is idle chatter for bored housewives and retired government officials… no one bothers about the parade which still is celebrated with as much pomp and show as it was some 25 years ago…many kids don’t even care about it… they are more interested in their PSP, WII or any such abbreviations.
But then these are the same kids, who will gladly raise awareness through their posts on twitter and facebook, and light thousands of candles for some cause or the other. Can I blame them then that they don’t know a Kuchipudi from a Khathakali …since the Republic day parade among other things did improve the general knowledge of us kids by telling us about the various traditions and customs of the other states… by making us sing the same sur in all our songs?
I watched the parade on TV after a long time and still had goosebumps for some reason… even though I knew that this is just another celebration for India… it will go back to its mudslinging and fighting in the parliament… it will go back to its defense land scams … or some new controversy with Mr. Babble mouth on twitter…the tableaux will be discarded… the children thanked and handed over a certificate of participation which will gather dust somewhere… the President shaking her white overcoat and finally getting the joke that the Korean guest had said… things will become normal… after the showcase of patriotism, things will be back to being the same.
But why the goosebumps??
Maybe because 60 years of the republic and half of that spent in my cynicism… still the nation has not done that bad …the ways to express it may have changed… but like religion, patriotism is best expressed individually.
P.S – I always wanted to know if there is any prize for the thousands of audience who come to watch the Republic day parade at India Gate… braving the Delhi Winter, early in the morning, with 6 inches of makeup…who are these people… nobody I know has ever been to such a shindig…who are these people… can we start a fund for them…the real patriots??

Legally Gay???

First they tell us that we need a certificate to be with the person we love (marriage), then they tell us that the person needs to be from the opposite sex...now they are telling us that it maybe ok if the person is from the same sex... well hang on ...Why do I need a rationing of love... of self-expression?

Detractors (read religious groups) are arguing that it is not natural... it is against God's will... well how the hell do they know what God's will is??

Adam and Eve committed a crime in the garden of Eden... it was a sin... for which humans are still paying... isnt this what we have been taught... well now I realize what the sin was... they made out with the opposite sex... they were meant to wait for the same sex person .... homosexuality was the order of the day!... same sex conjugality was a complete NO NO... thats why we were told that Adam and Eve committed the biggest Sin... but now with evolution, world politics, 6-packs, size zero, global warming, reality shows, Neverland, cloning, nanos, facebooking we have forgotten the original sin and replaced it with being Gay.

Woman Boss

I was watching TV and came across this show called "Na aana iss desh mein Lado"... I don't know much about the storyline but I do know that its about the atrocities on the girl child. But what stuck me most as I surfed through the channel was that the main protagonist was a woman who was shown to be tough and had everyone at her beck and call... My question is how did she reach that position?? Why do people listen to her?? Why does she have so much power??

Then I realized that she was portrayed as this evil, heartless person... that's why she had the power... In popular media a Woman Boss is always portrayed as a heartless bitch (The Devil Wears Prada) and or a great soul who can never do any wrong (Mother India, Jassi Jaise Koi Nahin, Nirupa Roy as the eternal mother)...there are hardly any shades of grey for a woman...

Why So?

Why is it that to have power, people have to become hard-hearted, why cant normal people have any power? Is it bcoz to reach that level, one has to let go off emotions, be detached, be ruthless... have to play the game by its rules...as no new rules are allowed? Don' they ever let their hair down, make mistakes?

Why is it so tough for people to accept that a woman can be friendly, patient, demanding, understanding, supportive, tough, aggressive, no nonsense, flirty, charming, bitchy at the same time...all the qualities of a good boss.

Why is that when we see a woman who has reached the top- we have only 2 expressions..."Wow, she is hot...must have done the boss and all the people on the board" or "She is a bitch". As a woman who is single and is a boss... it is even worse... character assassination apart, she has to fend off unwarranted stares, jibes, and passes.

As a woman who has had led a team, I have had my share of insubordination, I had to work doubly hard and prove myself over and again to each new member to win their support, I've had to use foul language, guzzle copious amount of alcohol, work more than 14 hrs to be one of the boys and only then was I accepted as a boss. But everyone waited with bated breath for that one mistake to pounce on me so that they could say "I told you so, all fluff...no results"

Sometimes, they did get their chance.

Homosexuality

I want Ramadoss to be successful in his mission of legalising homosexuality in India. I am not a closet lesbian, happy about the whole thing ...nor am I a homophobic who secretly hopes that legalising it would make all homophobic breathe a sigh of relief.
I am just an observer who cannot but help notice that the vast Indian population is made up of homosexual beings. Look anywhere and you will find that I am not wrong. Men dance with each other in all kinds of religious processions (behold the frenzy, the fervour, the closeness of the anatomies), at shopping malls, at cricket matches, at work, at watering holes... you name it and I bet that you will find at least one such pair.
I haven’t had the chance to observe much about other societies hence I can’t comment on how normal this situation is, but it certainly is ironical that in a society where people of opposite sexes rarely mingle with each other, there is no sensitivity or legal sanctity for homosexuals.
Right from childhood we are groomed to stay away and fear the opposite sex; hence we grow up as misinformed prudes. It is ok for us to hold hands with our girlfriends, but if we even speak for more than fifteen minutes with a guy, everybody including the guy thinks it’s an affair! Can I also include crimes against women as fallout of this theory??
I am just hoping that Ramadoss uncle manages to legalise homosexuality so that at least we as a society stop being hypocrites. We will at least then accept our true identities. Like my friend Charu explains “We are all born homosexuals, all of us possess latent homosexual tendencies but due to societal pressures act otherwise. A same sex relationship has far better chances of surviving than a relationship between opposite sex as both the partners would understand each other much better”
Well Charu, if Ramadoss has his way, we certainly will test the validity of your theory, till then I shall continue to watch men dance with each other during the procession of drowning elephant God. Amen.

God is Deaf!

I don’t understand Religious Processions
I seriously don’t. There is some kind of fervour in the air that defeats my idea of religion...isn’t religion supposed to provide you with the path to God/Nirvana... isn’t that supposed to be an individual thing...then why does the whole community descend on the streets with all the religious finery amid nerve rankling noise passed off as traditional music. Why oh lord why??
Since light travels faster than the speed of sound, you can see disco lights and huge halogen lights from a distance, getting closer, you know that you can save some energy in your house by switching off the light bulbs inside as well as the TV...unless you want to watch it in mute.
Then comes the cacophony of drums in the same monotonous beat which clashes with some other troupe...some troupes get innovative and use Rakhi Sawant’s item songs (item songs are ok as long as they are performed by a Marathi person).
The funniest thing is the dance... its one hand raised up (usually the right hand), fist rolled up for a punch ...like somebody doing ‘Inquilab Zindabad’ with feet’s marching...what is this dance???
But the thing that irritates me most is the noise... why do they have to use loudspeakers... Is God deaf??? Do we need electronic devices to reach him these days now... is that what’s called technologically advanced?
And why do people get into frenzy?? Why is there so much excitement...I don’t understand this... people stay up nights for these processions... to watch and take part. Traffic snarls worsen, shops keep erratic timings...hell I just don’t like all these.
First there is a procession to bring the God home (why did you let go of him in the first place...besides isn’t God omnipresent...why does one need to bring him home), then there is another procession to drown the God (now that you have finally got him why let him go?? Why can’t people just get posters and frame them...saves the trouble of getting and disposing the idols)
Ufff... I am getting agitated with all these processions... I think I will start a procession of my own...just need a reason...now what could be a good reason that would need drums, funny dance steps and loudspeakers???

A poem composed by a fourth generation, 24-year old career officer inthe Indian Armed Forces, spurred by the report of the Sixth PayCommission and an insensitive article written by a 'respectable'denizen of the country in a national daily on the armed forces and the pertinence of the Sixth Pay Commission therein.

How you play with us, did you ever see?

At Seven, I had decided what I wanted to be;

I would serve you to the end,

All these boundaries I would defend.

Now you make me look like a fool,

When at Seventeen and just out of school;

Went to the place where they made "men out of boys"

Lived a tough life and sacrificed a few joys.

In those days, I would see my 'civilian' friends,

Living a life with the fashion trends;

Enjoying their so called "College Days"

While I sweated and bled in the sun and haze.

But I never thought twice about what where or why

All I knew was when the time came, I'd be ready to do or die.

At 21 and with my commission in hand,

Under the glory of the parade and the band,

I took the oath to protect you over land, air or sea,

And make the supreme sacrifice when the need came to be.

I stood there with a sense of recognition,

But on that day I never had the premonition,

that when the time came to give me my due,

You'd just say," What is so great that you do?"

Long back you promised a well to do life;

And when I'm away, take care of my wife.

You came and saw the hardships I live through,

And I saw you make a note or two,

And I hoped you would realise the worth of me;

but now I know you'll never be able to see,

Because you only see the glorified life of mine,

Did you see the place where death looms all the time?

Did you meet the man standing guard in the snow?

The name of his newborn he does not know...

Did you meet the man whose father breathed his last?

While the sailor patrolled our seas so vast?

You still know I'll not be the one to raise my voice

I will stand tall and protect you in Punjab Himachal and Thois.

But that's just me you have in the sun and rain,

For now at Twenty Four, you make me think again;

About the decision I made, Seven years back;

Should I have chosen another life, some other track?

Will I tell my son to follow my lead?

Will I tell my son, you'll get all that you need?

This is the country you will serve

This country will give you all that you deserve?

I heard you tell the world "India is shining"

I told my men, that's a reason for us to be smiling

This is the India you and I will defend!

But tell me how long will you be able to pretend?

You go on promise all that you may,

But it's the souls of your own men you betray.

Did you read how some of our eminent citizens

Write about me and ridicule my very existence?

I ask you to please come and see what I do,

Come and have a look at what I go through

Live my life just for a day

Maybe you'll have something else to say…..

I will still risk my life without a sigh

To keep your flag flying SKY high

but today I ask myself a question or two

Oh India...Why do I still serve you?

Awww, So Sweet …

Although I am not a huge fan of the Awwww moments in life, I can’t help but be a part of it sometimes… last night was one such ‘Awww’ filled experience. Anu (the love of my life) called me to chill out at her place. Since I am working for a start up these days and the office space is not yet ready, so there are 60 of us crammed in one place. What with all the noise of a newsroom and so many people around, at the end of the day I don’t want to meet any human beings after work.

But then when I was ticking off all the excuses in my book so as to avoid meeting her in a public place, Cyril (the lust of my life) came on line and I was instantly convinced to meet them at ‘Mia Cucina’.

Upon reaching there, I was given a huge bear hug by a bear of a man claiming to be Cyril, while Cyril was grinning from ear to ear at my discomfort. The papa bear turned out to be James another buddy of stud boy’s with beefy muscles and equally beefy vocal chords. I was impressed and so was Sorabh who has a thing going on with every guy that I like.

Anu was all decked up for some reason and looked quite cute and Cyril (ahhh… he looked divine in a brown shirt) and both of them looked so cute together, especially when stud boy addressed his lady love as ‘Sweetu’… that was definitely an Oscar winning ‘Awwww’ moment.

I just could not help noticing how good both my friends looked with each other and the chemistry that they shared, made me a bit jealous, made me wish I was not single, but hey this post is not about me.

The evening was great; it was hilarious, what with James pretending to be an Investment Banker, Cyril trying to be a refined gentleman and Sorabh trying to be funny as usual.

Then for some reason we went to meet a dog called Kaiser and everybody went ‘Awwww’ again…I tried to remain as far as is civilly possible but Kaiser looked at me with those lovelorn eyes and asked me why I haven’t petted him yet. So very reluctantly I petted him and repeated the codeword ‘Awww’ much to everyone’s surprise.

After fighting with each other for god knows what, we dropped beefcake James off and started chasing another car for some reason. Then I realized that the other car had some bags on the top and we were chasing it to tell them about it, good Samaritans that we were in out inebriated state. Then I totally got in the groove and kept on yelling ‘drive faster’ at stud boy who loves his car more than Anu, and after much yelling and confusion we finally caught up with the scared couple who were fleeing us. We did the last ‘Awwww’ deed of the day and headed home.

Surprisingly, I enjoyed the entire evening with the three stooges and the very beautiful Anu and I thank them for filling my life with some very memorable ‘Awww’ moments.

Grass is greener on the other side.

Grass is greener on the other side.

The other day I was chatting with a friend who also happens to be a Major in the Indian army. It was more of a pep talk and agony aunt kind of conversation... he was really dejected with the way the army was treating him. He said that neither was the organization paying him at par with other industries, nor giving him a real posting in siachen but was making him do some exercises in some situation which he felt were not productive enough and on top of it the armed forces were being compared to the civil servants, paper pushers at the most.
That conversation made me very restless and i started thinking (one of the rarer phenomenons in this world) about why Major Saab thought the way he did. If the person responsible for my security has self doubts then I need to be very worried. And on top of that, I saw a story on Times Now that 25 out of every 32 army personnel are deserting the organization. Is this something to lose sleep over, coz i definitely did and am still disturbed. What is the solution for this?
It is a fact that the 6th pay commission has increased the pay packages of the armed forces by 33 percentage excluding allowances. Now lets play devils advocate with whatever little information that I have.

a) Armed forces get 60 days of leave as compared to the corporate sector which get around 30 days of leave per annum.
b) Armed forces get medical facilities for their entire family unlike the corporate sector.
c) Armed forces get subsidized FMCG products and liquor unlike their corporate counterparts.
d) Armed forces can easily avail loans than their corporate counterparts.
e) The kids of armed forces can get admitted in sainik schools unlike civilians who have to pay huge amounts of donations.
f) And to top it all, the armed forces are the least corrupt organization as compared to the civil sector
g) Last but not the least, the respect & charisma that the armed forces command in their uniform can be rivaled only by poster boys like John Abraham.

So why the dissatisfaction?? Is it something to do with the idle mind being the devil's workshop... earlier we had battles to fight and were busy, now with all the free time (yes there is a major counter insurgency operation and fire fighting against natural calamities which are increasing... but that is a separate story)

Or is it the media who is responsible for highlighting the achievements of the corporate sector with reports of starting salaries of IIM grads and/or the the exploits of the Ambani Brothers. It is bound to get in dissatisfaction.

At the same time, comparison with IAS officers who generally do not have threat to their lives (unless they are in some scam and run the risk of being lynched by the public, media or their counterparts) rankles a lot with the men in uniform.

The solution for this is two fold-- one explaining to these rough n tough guys that the grass is greener on the other side... yes it is... i would gladly risk being shot by Pakistani Soldiers than listen to mindless news stories of Naag-Nagin frolicking somewhere (I work for a news channel...hence listening to such stories is part of my job profile... I wish I could switch off the TV). The other solution albeit a bit ambitious is to get a petition and formally make an official protest/complaint against the authorities.

The thought of donating a part of my salary to the army welfare did come to my mind, but better sense has prevailed and I have decided against it. Reasons for not being on their side... I think army people have an easy life... They are waited hand & foot by their orderlies/batman during peace posting. Since, they have field postings every 3 years, in some godforsaken place, they don't have to maintain a lifestyle that we have to. And the biggest factor, they don't have to buy clothes every fortnight, they have uniforms...I waste 10 min every morning deciding what to wear....its a criminal waste of time, considering that I don't end up looking great like the model advertising the same clothes which is why I bought them in the first place... And then, the subsidized liquor rates... why do I have to pay for double the market rate, plus service tax, plus leave a tip, not to mention that whenever I go to a pub, its always with a friend whose tab I'm obliged to pick up... give me army mess any day...hic!

Well, even though I have filled reams of paper against these poor men in uniforms, I know that deep down that they deserve more. They are risking their lives for us so that we can crib about subsidized alcohol and agonize over our clothes. They spend nights waiting in extreme conditions without proper equipment or clothes. Is this why we pay taxes so that the government spends it in throwing stones at each other during assembly sessions.... I am a firm believer of the fact that the government has enough funds to run this country but has dimwits who siphon off the same.

Aarrggghhh... I have lost the thread of what i started out to say... the bottom line is that lets all be honest and sincere in our work ... and follow the sayings of the Gita... Kaam Kar par Phal ke icchah mat rak... in essence one should do one's duties in life as per his/her dharma, or duty, without concern of results. And let their be free flowing alcohol (subsidized or otherwise) to enable this without any hiccups...hic!

NDNC

As with all democracies, policies are floated on a trial and error basis. This directly affects the hapless citizens on whom the policy is tried. One such is the national do not call scheme.
All of us must have faced the pesky telemarketer calls and dealt with customer support executives of various services that today’s world demands be fulfilled through the ubiquitous mobile cell.
But how does one deal with them??? They do not understand the problem, have no solution and know only one sentence “I am really sorry for the inconvenience caused to you.” Angrez chale gaye sorry de gaye.
It is really frustrating to these people and how does one get through this giant industry and talk to somebody who understands and solves the problem. Why do we not have a consumer service industry?? Even when one is subscribed to the national do not call service, one still gets telemarketing calls, and how does one deal with the situation. Does that mean that I have to leave all my day to day activities and pursue another never ending telephone calling, getting transferred from one place to the other and being on hold for an eternity to bring the problem to light? Or do I take 5 min out of my hectic schedule and hear out the telemarketer (hell they are just doing a job) and then politely say no or take out 10 min from my life and yell and abuse them….how does one deal with them??
Is there etiquette to be followed?? I am at my wits end… somebody plz help… Or maybe I should start my own telemarketing business... they say if you can’t beat ‘em…join ‘em!!

Peeing about

Why do people pee on the road... or for that matter spit, litter, etc... Is it because the need to relieve in public adds to the satisfaction or is it really beacuse of the poor sanitation in our country. If we are blaming the government for this then can anyone plz explain why do ppl in huge big cars (hey if they can afford cars that cost 10 lakhs upwards then they can afford a toilet seat for themselves) pee on the road... wat can be the solution to this... a conscious decision to not pee on the road even if it is a matter of life n death. And the stench, it is there everywhere, on the roads, in the railway stations, near bus stops, near offices...u name it and our dear friendly neighbourhood smell is there.
One can actually navigate a city with this stench, if it is foul and overpowering, then you are near a bazar with lots of people...more people, more urine, more stench. If the stench is faint, then you are hopefulluy near an housing society, and if the stench is mixed with other smells of flowers, food, perfume, you are near a hi-fi shopping mall.
I wish all these stars who launch a perfume after their names, should actually encourage perfumers around the world to create an eco-perfume...which can liberally applied all over the eco-system to mask this stench.