A poem composed by a fourth generation, 24-year old career officer inthe Indian Armed Forces, spurred by the report of the Sixth PayCommission and an insensitive article written by a 'respectable'denizen of the country in a national daily on the armed forces and the pertinence of the Sixth Pay Commission therein.

How you play with us, did you ever see?

At Seven, I had decided what I wanted to be;

I would serve you to the end,

All these boundaries I would defend.

Now you make me look like a fool,

When at Seventeen and just out of school;

Went to the place where they made "men out of boys"

Lived a tough life and sacrificed a few joys.

In those days, I would see my 'civilian' friends,

Living a life with the fashion trends;

Enjoying their so called "College Days"

While I sweated and bled in the sun and haze.

But I never thought twice about what where or why

All I knew was when the time came, I'd be ready to do or die.

At 21 and with my commission in hand,

Under the glory of the parade and the band,

I took the oath to protect you over land, air or sea,

And make the supreme sacrifice when the need came to be.

I stood there with a sense of recognition,

But on that day I never had the premonition,

that when the time came to give me my due,

You'd just say," What is so great that you do?"

Long back you promised a well to do life;

And when I'm away, take care of my wife.

You came and saw the hardships I live through,

And I saw you make a note or two,

And I hoped you would realise the worth of me;

but now I know you'll never be able to see,

Because you only see the glorified life of mine,

Did you see the place where death looms all the time?

Did you meet the man standing guard in the snow?

The name of his newborn he does not know...

Did you meet the man whose father breathed his last?

While the sailor patrolled our seas so vast?

You still know I'll not be the one to raise my voice

I will stand tall and protect you in Punjab Himachal and Thois.

But that's just me you have in the sun and rain,

For now at Twenty Four, you make me think again;

About the decision I made, Seven years back;

Should I have chosen another life, some other track?

Will I tell my son to follow my lead?

Will I tell my son, you'll get all that you need?

This is the country you will serve

This country will give you all that you deserve?

I heard you tell the world "India is shining"

I told my men, that's a reason for us to be smiling

This is the India you and I will defend!

But tell me how long will you be able to pretend?

You go on promise all that you may,

But it's the souls of your own men you betray.

Did you read how some of our eminent citizens

Write about me and ridicule my very existence?

I ask you to please come and see what I do,

Come and have a look at what I go through

Live my life just for a day

Maybe you'll have something else to say…..

I will still risk my life without a sigh

To keep your flag flying SKY high

but today I ask myself a question or two

Oh India...Why do I still serve you?

Third Wheel

Every time I hang out with my friends for a fun session, I get the inevitable feeling of being a third wheel… this has been happening since the stone ages for me.

Jaya & Anand/Mayank
Amrit & Mitra
Guddi & Soumya
Pinky & Mayur
Mousumi & Siddhu
Anu & Cyril
Neha & Abhinav
Vineet & Pooja/Richa
Charu & Pankaj
Deepika & Vinod
Madhusmita & Navnit
Rachita & Anas
Ashu & Sonia
Ruchika & Gautam
Sam & Nitikaji
Reena & Manish
Runa & Vijay
Sumit & Pooja/Shruti
Utkalika & Siddhu
Ruhi & carlton

The list goes on…although all my friends do make sure that I don’t get bored but I can’t help getting the feeling of being a third wheel.
But is it really bad… I get to be on my own (something which I don’t mind) and at the same time, I have some company… although sometimes it does get a bit embarrassing when they get cozy. But the worst is when they pick a fight and I have to be a judge and choose… on the one hand, there is my friend (whom I have to support) and on the other, the partner who anyways hates me for piling on. However, most often than not my friend is usually on the wrong side and the partner usually correct. In such a scenario, it’s still dicey to pass a verdict in favor of the partner in case partner is a HE… then my girlfriend gets jealous and that opens up a different Pandora’s Box.
Oh my god… such complications… and all I wanted was to spend some quality time with my friends… but sadly they don’t have any time for me.
When I started writing this post, I had thought that being a third wheel is not so bad… and that I am a pro at it… after all my favorite mode of transport has three wheels… the humble rickshaw (mechanized or otherwise)! But after having written so far, I now realize that bikes are better…cozier and faster ;) So when will I get my bike??

Swimming with the Fishes

I want to do that… i.e. swim with the fishes…deep sea ones… without the burden of oxygen cylinders and tight fitting spandex with webbed feet. I want to do it without the trappings of nautical equipments and jargon.

How? Is what you are thinking… I have a solution which is so sublime that it is ridiculous to the average human. I want my body to be flung into the ocean (preferably Indian Ocean… patriotic to the end, eh?) once my heart ceases to beat.

Well, I was thinking about insurance and mediclaim and its benefits…after fighting with my CA (this is an annual July fight… last day of filing taxes is 31st July and my CA never bothers to do anything about it till I remind him… why in the name of God did I ever hire him beats me) and I realized that I have gone and invested my money in insurance and stuff… and put my parents & bro as benefactors automatically… thinking that I will outlive them and get all the money myself (I’m a born optimistic) but what if…I don’t… then apart from the money part there are a few details that needs to be taken care of… none of the policies have made any provisions for it…

Since I am a healthy individual (oh forget the smoking, drinking and non exercising part… I eat right and I am physically active …even though I don’t gym) I won’t just drop dead one fine day (that would please a whole lot of people). Most likely I will be done in through some freak accident (wholly stupid I am sure… I attract silliness for some reason). In such a case, I don’t want to bother my parents (I might recover!) till I am confirmed by a medical authority that I have walked over to the other side.

I don’t want my aging parents to make a long trip and fuss over me…besides its their time to be fussed over… it will be a whole lot of trouble for them. But if I do breathe my last, then I do want them and collect my things (books and some knick knacks collected over the years… mostly scrap but hey they mean a lot to me I guess) so that my landlady is not inconvenienced and my friends do not bumble around what to do. (Note to friends – do not inform my parents till the end… I am expecting you to make the call judiciously, don’t let me down on this, plz).

Then I am sure, that there will be a lot of unnecessary crying (oh how I would hate that) and debates over how to take my body back to my hometown and do the last rituals there.

I don’t want that. I want my body to be dumped into the Indian Ocean (let the environmentalists go to hell) and to be done so before it turns cold. Period. No debates no discussion, no confusion. Consider it my last wish. Maybe I should outsource this job to somebody as I am sure my parents would never agree to it.

Is there any such agency or person who can follow this to a T? Hmmm… I want to swim with the fishes…deep sea ones…

Bengali Food

I have been craving Bengali food… its simply yummy… starting form the junk street food to the ones that Bouma prepares lovingly in the house, I miss all kinds…
Here is a list of stuff that I’d kill to eat…

1. Golgappa – yummy pani puri stuffed with mashed potatoes, green chilies, onion, chana, spices…dunked in imli & mint water. This is way better than the stuff that you find in Mumbai…which is puri stuffed with boondi and dunked in sweet chutney… yuck. Note the onions are not fried… in fact apart from the puri’s nothing is fried… healthy eh!

2. Rolls – This is hot spicy maida roti layered with eggs and stuffed with chicken & onions (not fried again) and spiced with ketchup, green chili sauce and topped with mustard sauce (yes there is a thing called mustard sauce)… this is not the same as Frankie that is found here… which is mostly greasy and spicy not by design but by default.

3. Jhal Muri – This is bhelpuri with a Bengali twist. It contains almost the same ingredients, but is different in taste by virtue of the mustard oil that is added. And unlike its Mumbai counterpart, it doesn’t come in meetha, medium, theekha, sukha or geela… it comes as one … not too sukha, not too geela, not sweet and wholly spicy and pungent (mustard and finely chopped radish!)

4. Alu bhajja – The bongs had the French fries in their menu’s way before the big Mac popularized it in India. Alu bhajja is finely sliced potatoes fried and eaten hot. It is a must at every lunch.

5. Fish Fry – It is not the same as the fried fish that you get at Jai Hind, Trishna or Mahesh Lunch Home. Agreed that the bombil fry melts in the mouth and is found only in amchi Mumbai but the fresh water fish fried without any batter (marinated only in salt & turmeric) is yummy…

6. Rui Kalia – This is fish curry … where neither the fish overpowers the curry nor the curry loses the fish. Obviously it is fresh water fish.

7. Alu Kobir Dalna – This is yellow dal (tur) with potatoes and cauliflower. Other veggies can be optionally added like pumpkin, eggplant, etc. The tadka is of Panch Phoran and ginger. And garnished with jeera-mirchi powder. Some fools may call it a sambhar like thing…but it is way different in the sense that there is no sourness and it is thicker than sambhar.

8. Alu Posto – potatoes fried in poppy seed (posto) paste… this sleep inducing, lip smacking dish goes very well with boiled rice and masoor dal.

9. Doi Bengan – fried eggplants put in curd with a tadka of panch phoran and curry leaves, green chilies and chopped ginger. This is a side dish but I can eat it as such.

10. Muri ghanto – this is fish head of rohu cooked with rice and spices… I don’t know how to make this myself but my mom’s recipe is to die for.

11. Kasha Mansho – this is mutton cooked with onions, ginger, garlic, posto, dhania, etc and is simply groovy… mom I miss ur cooking!

12. Luchi & Alu dum – this is similar to puri and alu…except that all things Bengali this is also divine. Never quite figured out how to make this, but I love it anyways.

13. Doi shorshe Illish – this is one dish that I can kill for… it is hilsa fish, mustard and curd… what else do u need??

14. chingri macher malai curry – succulent prawns cooked in coconut malai…again these are fresh water prawns and that adds to the taste.

15. Sweets – misti doi, gur sandesh, rasogollas… need I say anything more??

I want Bengali food…home cooked variety, not the kind that you get at OH Calcutta… although that comes quite close.