Wanderlust

Why do people travel? To see a new place, to know a new culture, to experience new feelings? Who invented travelling? Why is it a multi-billion dollar industry?

I don't know.

I do however know why I travel...not to get away from the rigmarole of life. Nor to see new things. I see new things, places almost every other day. I travel to discover my self. And I travel solo.

I have discovered that I am caring and considerate unlike the gruff image that I usually portray. I am also genuinely interested in knowing people unlike my city face which doesn't have time to smile at strangers. I also shake a leg or two which would put horrified expressions on people who claim to know me. But the most important discovery about self has been the ability to know what makes me happy....and that is everything!

I am just stuck up in my mind....but away from the hard nosed career woman, all I want is to be a little girl who is awestruck at anything and everything....to be a dog who hangs out his tongue if in a car...to be a proud tiger who is scared of humans....to be a sheep in the big city...to be innocent.

I travel to discover the real me. I travel to find the one who is lost amongst deadlines and social protocols. I travel to be free of expectations. And I travel solo. 

Daily experiences faced by an Indian in India

We have read and agreed to both versions of Jane Von Rabenau (loves India) and Michaela Cross (traumatized by India). We have discussed the incidents described by both till death, defending experiences and incidents.

While Jane takes a very logical approach of not generalizing situations and incidents, Michaela does have a very personal view of things that happened to her.

But are their experiences unique only to their white skin?

Being an Indian in India is not without its pitfalls. Yes, groping in busy places happen. Yes, men do stare, uncomfortably. Yes, rapes are increasing. Yes, people are warm and open when you travel away from busy metros. Yes, Indian weddings are fun events. What do you do in such situations? You ignore most cases, and show your outrage in others. One cannot generalize, one doesn’t have a right answer, nor does one take sides.

But being brown skinned in a country obsessed with white skinned people sees me waiting for more than 20 minutes everyday for a cab. I stay in an area where a fair amount of expats have also made their home. And every cab or auto wala chooses them over me. This happens everyday.

If a ‘Gora’ presents an idea at work, it has to be way superior to what a brown skinned brain can conjure up. If a meeting is scheduled for international partners of the seriously cutthroat corporate job you have, then you have to be in time and have to dress sharp. If it’s just a meeting with regular Indian working class then the meeting get re-scheduled, sometimes cancelled.

Being brown skinned in a bustling metropolis like Mumbai means that if you want better service at top notch restaurants, arrive with a white skinned phoren and tables magically appear.

If you haven’t partied with atleast 1 foreigner then you have a lot of catching up on the way to becoming cool.

Comfortable clothes that you like are made for sizes suitable to a western body, desi food is customized to a western palate, and queues are magically cut for the poor foreigner. While this does show the hospitability of us Indians, it also adds that 2% more competition on to the plate. Didn’t I elbow out competing classmates, colleagues, cabbies to be there first, should I have to try again coz the best spot has now been offered to a ‘guest’?

Jane Von Rabenau   

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/india-and-a-blonde-tourist-an-alternate-account/1/305095.html

Michaela Cross

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023053

That Girl

Labels. Everyone loves them. It’s like giving a giant label maker to a child who goes around stamping everything. Why?

image courtesy - google

We as Indians generalize everything and quickly jump to conclusions and toss the subject aside and move on to more labeling. Maybe the British, Germans, Americans and every goddamn civilization also do this. I wouldn't know, I am Indian. We do it and don’t give it a second thought.

I want to be ‘That Girl’ who has all the labels…yeah, that should be the aim of my life…collect all kinds of labels. Then I can compare them with the others.

Why is it difficult to have an amalgamation of habits, opinions, ideas, perspective in one person? Why should a person be this Hollywood and Bollywood? Why can’t I equally hate both Congress and BJP? Why can’t I lust at Brad Pitt and John Abraham at the same time? Why shouldn't I be a woman and man at work and relationships?

way or that? Why cant one like sweet and sour, rum and whisky (beer should always be out), hot and cold, FB and twitter,

We get so lost in conforming and non-confirming that we tend to lose ourselves. I am a workaholic so I cannot spend my Sundays without checking my mail. Or I am young so have to party. I internalize too much. I am an extrovert. I am too shy. I am like that only. We keep on saying these things and slowly start accepting them as the truth and without knowing we have only added one more label to ourselves.

Have I just labeled myself? Oh I am ‘that label girl’, right. 

Silence

What do you make of scenes where somebody screams 'silence' and there is a background track playing to ‘highlight’ silence? At the same time, that scene from Babel where Rinko Kikuchi enters a club and the music drops but the energy is still maintained is one of those brilliant scenes that remain forever in my mind.

Can we ever be really silent? Is the tiger absolutely silent while stalking his prey…does our own heartbeat become noise that shatters this silence. Is nature ever really silent?

Even today, sometimes I hold my breath to listen to the sounds around me, to experience complete silence and never really find that… it’s not noise but it’s not really silent.

Recently on a trip to a tiger safari, the guide asked us to be silent so that the tiger can step out of the tall grass and give us a glimpse… while talking ceased, people continued to shuffle, scratch cough and sniff. Why? Is it because we are so uncomfortable on our own that we have to make some signs of sound to prove that we are alive…are we so dead inside that we cant hear the crackle of the leaves, the buzz of the wind or the heartbeat of excitement happening within our own bosom?

A little known anecdote on American composer John Cage's 4 min 33 sec experiment is that when he was testing it out in Harvard, there was a slight hum that was heard despite it being a sound proof room. Investigating it further, he found that it was the hum of nervous system, heartbeat over which we do not have any control. Watch his experiment here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY7UK-6aaNA

#bench #ratlamstation #earlymorning #traintravel #instagram #silence

Being a student of communication and a chatterbox I understand the need to talk, to express, to communicate….but isn’t ‘listening’ the hallmark of a good communicator (not the mobile phone dummy). Why are we so afraid of our own selves? Why do we have to indulge in small talk? Why are there awkward silences?

In school we had a sports/PT teacher who demonstrated the meaning of pin drop silence by dropping a pin and making us listen for the drop sound. Till then we used to whisper while having ‘finger on the lips’ silence.

As I type this post out, apart from the tap of my fingers on the keyboard, I can hear the following

1. Whizz of an autorickshaw as it goes by in the lane outside
2. Whirring of the fan
3. Tapping of the foot (it’s a quirky habit I have when I am writing or excited)
4. Somebody watering the plants outside (Cant see the person, guess its the weekend gardener)
5. Drip of water from the kadai that I soaked for my Sunday cleaning
6. Tapping of the Pipili lampshade wire against the set top box as it sways in the breeze

Next Post – Why I don’t consciously listen to ‘Music’

Social Experiments - Inhibitions

What is so special about superhero movies? Isn’t it about some guy who wears his chaddies on top of his tights! As much as we would like to spoof them, the reason these superhero movies do well is not just special effects and fancy gadgets, it is the underlying fact that the underdog sheds his inhibitions and goes on to save the world, become popular and get a little romance along the way.

Don’t we wish there was a magic wand or a spider or some kryptonite that could make us say, behave, do all the things that we wanted to and without any fear of being ridiculed or judgment?

When one has to describe self in 3 words, one is always inhibited and says the politically correct words like kind, generous, compassionate. The more adventurous go the self depreciating way and throw in a lazy or experimental. But would you like to come out and say what you are to a bunch of strangers? Don’t you want to impress everybody here and say things which are accepted worldwide in beauty pageants…like kind, generous and compassionate? 

Image Courtesy: Deviantart

Why is having a mask on and not sharing your real feelings to random people seen in a bad light?

But then don’t some of us put on a mask just to fit in, be polite, accepted so that we do not stick out like a sore thumb amongst a bunch of conformists.

Sometimes one has to be a bit inhibited to maintain the balance between outrage and comfortable. Most other times one tends to be inhibited for fear of revealing too much. It is for security, it is for acceptance, it is to blend in.

Isn’t that why Jim Carrey in ‘The Mask’ leave a mark? Then why does the world worship the superhero?