Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Notice Period

So it’s been quite some time since I submitted my notice period to the higher ups but I haven’t heard from them yet. I don’t even know if they have looked at it or even received it.

But while the top brass takes it own sweet time to decide my fate, what am I supposed to do? Twiddle my thumbs? Yes, like a true professional, I am trying my best to continue but my heart is really not into it. That’s the reason why I have put in my papers.

The first hint came a few years ago, but I suppressed it. Nothing good ever comes out of such thoughts. I had a good gig running here, why give it all up for some strange notion which I don’t even understand. There were many more hints and nudges but I calmly ignored them as flights of fancy. I mean…really to give up working which not only made me decent money but also gave me satisfaction? One must be really dumb to give up such things.

The next few times, I attributed to boredom and searched for external pleasures and pursuits which kept me gainfully occupied till the next time. But the frequencies of these nudges have increased since then.

I have since then taken up various pursuits and drilled it into myself that real happiness comes from being in the thick of things and not without. I have become a workaholic, picked up hobbies like classical dancing, travelled, mellowed down my outlook, rationalized my behavior, actually found happiness in loving my niece, been nice to family & friends but the restlessness continues.

These are all distractions to keep me from questioning the higher ups for their lack of acknowledgement of my notice. And the distractions can only help so much. At the end of the day, I know that they are distractions.

Nothing works for me anymore… it’s not just cynicism, but I do catch myself asking ‘What’s the point?’ more often than one should. Yes, there are thousands of books still waiting to be read, lots of movies that I haven’t even heard of, places that need to be experienced, food that needed to be had, sex that needed to linger and people that needed to be understood. But do I care?

So now what… should I take matters into my own hand? Should I wait for them to revert?