Last night as I was juggling calls between my special someone, the accidental intellectual stimulus and the painful adventurous ink... I had the most amazing conversation with all... One touched the forgotten kid, the lost innocence, the childish demands, the flirtatious woman in me and the other the rational, the individual, the spiritual, the vindicted while I was left nursing the pain, the agony, the self doubt all by myself... was I really alive, was I really alone, was I really with someone... Is my cross my own to carry... will there be no one? Do I need someone to show the torch, do I want someone to share my cross?
Unlike earlier times, when these kind of conversations would agitate me to a state similar to electrons revolving around the nucleus when put under extreme conditions of temperature and pressure... this time I was calm... I knew the responses in advance, I almost waited with bated breath to hear the next sentence... to compare mentally if this was what I was expecting to hear... I was not dissapointed.
Its a pity that I cannot reproduce the entire discussion... but the heady feeling of having it all... was not lost on me. I thanked my 'lucky' stars for being in such a situation ... wittingly or unwittingly, it was great fun.
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